No More Making Time for Family
Membership Level› Guest
Author/Source: Karl Bastian
Why I will NEVER make time for my family ever again!
Never again am I going to make time for family.
Yes, you heard me right. I know! You expect me to tell you to make sure you make time for your family. But ou would be wrong - very wrong indeed. I have heard many a leader talk about how they always “make time for family.” There was a time I made that claim too - and I learned the hard way that making time for family is one of the biggest mistakes you can make in ministry!
So I’ve made a decision, and by God’s grace and power, I’m sticking to it. Are you ready?
Here it is: Never again am I going to make time for my family!
That’s right. I am DONE making time for my family.
No more. Never Again. I quit. I spent well over a decade making time for my wife, and then when I became a dad I started making time for my son too. And I was totally wrong to do so! I have learned my lesson, and have made a personal commitment to never ever again make time for either of them.
Did I lose my mind? No, quite to the contrary - I finally found it! While I have always claimed to put family first - my proof was in all the time I “made” for them. The days off, the dates, the dinners, the vacations, the coming home for a meal, the night time feedings, and play time on the floor... all the things I took a break from ministry to do.
What?!?!? Did you just hear the insanity in that last sentence?! The “break from ministry” I took to “make” time for my family? I’m ashamed to admit it, but my attitude toward my family revealed a deadly secret: I had made ministry the most important thing in my life, despite my claims otherwise. I only have the courage to admit it because I don’t think I am alone. I am taking the risk of being honest and hoping I am not alone in my former illness. I suspect there are many others that still have it, and are as blind to the symptoms as I was. The illness is called Ministryitis, or more accurately diagnosed, it is closer to Significancia. It is a condition where one finds their significance primarily in their service to God and therefore lives to serve God from the moment they arise in the morning until the time they collapse into their bed exhausted at night. They are serving God with passion, and energy, and creativity, and zeal, and sincerity, and with every good intention to please God and lead others to Him... but they fail to see that God called them FIRST to simply BE a child of His, and secondly to BE a husband, or wife, or parent to the children in their home. There ought not be ANY “carving out of time for family.” Family IS your life. You’ve got to get it in perspective:
Ministry is just something you do for God. Don’t ever let ministry become your life. The consequences of an out-of-balance life can be catastrophic. The greatest significance you can have in God’s eyes is by being faithful to the primary relationships He has given you.... your family.
Therefore my new commitment is this:
Never again am I going to make time for my family, I will instead make time for ministry.
Then I will go home to where my life truly rests. Look at your calendar. Is it dominated by ministry? What “events” get scheduled first? How many times have you said “no” to church because of a family conflict compared to the times you’ve said “no” to your family because the church “needed you.” Perhaps you need to schedule some home “events” - simple things - the things you will remember as highlights years from now.
Live for God, Love your family, and if time permits, make some time for ministry too!