ZonesHumor › Holiday Diet Secrets

Holiday Diet Secrets

Membership Level Guest

Author/Source: Roger Fields

Topic: Holiday Diet Tips

A humorous look at dieting during the holidays.

Little known diet secrets you need to know this time of year:

1. If no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, they cancel each other out.

3. If you eat standing up, it doesn’t count!

4. If you eat someone else’s food, it doesn’t count.

5. Cookie pieces contain no calories because the process of breakage cause calorie leakage.

6. Food used for medicinal purposes have no calories. This includes: any chocolate used for energy, cheesecake, and Haagen-Daz Ice Cream.

7. When eating with someone else, calories don’t count if you both eat the same amount.

8. Movie-related foods are much lower in calories simply because they are a part of the entertainment experience and not part of one’s personal fuel. This includes: Milk Duds, popcorn with butter, Junior Mints, Snickers, and Gummi Bears.

This post is located in the following zone(s): ChristmasHumor
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