Relational Ministry vs. Respect as a Leader
Membership Level› Guest
Author/Source: Karl Bastian
Topic: Relationships, Leadership
How can I lead relationally while maintaining respect for my position.
THE QUESTION: I would like to say that your website is great and has helped me get ideas when I was just brain blocked. I have a question. I am in a leadership role at my church and I want to build relationships with the kids, especially the 5th & 6th graders, but I also want to retain my leadership role. Can you give me a few tips on how I might do that? I want them to know I care but also respect me as a leader.
THE ANSWER: Thanks for the encouraging words! I wouldn't worry about 'retaining a leadership role' - that is not a price you pay to be relational. They will respect you and follow you more the more you get to know them. Relational ministry doesn't mean giving up your dignity or acting young, it just means that you demonstrate a knowledge of their world and a willingness to take the time to listen and care about them. They will still respect you as a leader - in fact, more so! The only change is they will respect you no longer just because you are the adult in charge, but because they will see you as a friend. It also gives you the right to say at times, "Hey, you know I like to have fun with you guys, but right now is a time when I need you to listen" and they will. Leadership is nothing without followers, and kids don't follow leaders because of their 'position.' They follow those they like and respect, and they like and respect those who take the time to like and respect them. So just go for it!
I would highly recommend you get my Kidology Handbook. The whole thing is about how to approach ministry relationally. You're sure to find it a big help!
