The Good Samaritan: Live with the I Witness News Team
Props: Two mics, news chair, and a news desk
News Anchor: Good evening ladies and gentlemen...We have breaking news live from our I Witness Team. We are reporting from that infamously dangerous stretch of road between Jerusalem and Jericho. Countless robberies and murders have been committed on this road of death and destruction...but today I Witness News has discovered a hero on this Decrepit Road of Doom...against all odds he is with us live to tell us his harrowing tale of blood, pain, and boo boos...as he traveled this Horrific Hollow of Death. We are calling this story... Survivor: Along the Road of Mayhem. Did I mention this was a bad road?
Reporter: Here I am live...on that 17 mile stretch of road from Jerusalem to Jericho. I am here with a Samaritan traveler who snatched an innocent Jewish man from the jaws of death. Sir, can you tell us how you were able to save a man’s life as he traveled along this Heinous Horrid Highway?
Samaritan: Well, I don’t know if it was as dramatic as all of that...
Reporter: Don’t be modest. I am with the I Witness News team...and I can make any story seem outrageously dramatic...continue with your treacherous tale...
Samaritan: Well, all I really did was help a man that was robbed. His clothes were taken, and he was left for dead.
Reporter: So a Jewish man was laying there with no clothes on, bleeding,
and practically dead...on the road of Horrible Havoc. But WAIT! You are a Samaritan, correct?
Samaritan: Well yes...I am from Samaria...
Reporter: And the injured man was Jewish?
Reporter: This is not good...Samaritans are considered impure by Jews...They do not treat you well at all! Why would you help...especially on this road of Viral Violence! How did it happen?
Samaritan: Well, I needed to get to Jericho quickly...so I really needed to take this road...
Reporter: ...of Panic, Pain, and Pandemonium...
Samaritan: ...and I happened to come upon this man who was in terrible shape...left by robbers to die...so I stopped.
Reporter: WHAT? In the middle of the road of Devastating Destruction and
Death? Weren’t you afraid that it was a set up? You know...robbers
put out an “injured” person as a decoy...then when you stop to help,
BAM! They get ya!
Reporter: You put your own self in danger for someone who considers you like
filthy rags? Why?
Samaritan: Well, I pitied him...so I bandaged his wounds with oil and wine...
Reporter: Whoa Whoa Whoa...you bandaged and wasted good oil and wine on a
man who normally wouldn’t want you to touch him...while on the road
of Insidious Evil?!
Samaritan: I bandaged him, put him on my donkey, and took him to the nearest
inn. I asked the innkeeper to watch after him.
Reporter: How did he pay for all of this? He was robbed, you know.
Samaritan: I paid for his room and left extra money to pay for any expenses
he may have incurred, then I continued on my way.
Reporter: This is the most amazing story I have ever heard.
Samaritan: I think HIS story is amazing.
Reporter: Did you ever get to talk to him about his experience on the Revolting
Rotting Road of Dread?
Samaritan: I know that before I arrived, a Priest, a man who served in the temple,
just passed him by...and left him there to die.
Reporter: A PRIEST?! Isn’t he supposed to be godly?
Samaritan: Not only did one man pass him by, but a second man...a Levite,
did not stop either...he was just abandoned.
Reporter: You’re KIDDING! A second man who worked in the temple passed
by...men who should have known the right thing to do?
Samaritan: So you see, someone had to help this man...so that is what I did...
Reporter: Well, thank you for your neighborly response...This is me...live from the Ghastly Gruesome Road of Gloom...back to you.
News Anchor: That was our live report: Survivor: Along the Road of Mayhem...
maybe we should have called it Samaritan: An Unlikely Hero on the Road of Mayhem. I think we have some things to ponder... But that’s it for now, from I Witness News!