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Kidologist
Administrator
Karl Bastian
Joined: 20 October 2003
Location: United States
Posts: 2952
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| Posted: 09 April 2005 at 11:39pm | IP Logged
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You Will NEVER Hear A Children's Pastor Say...
1. Let's start another worship service.
2. Thanks anyway but I have plenty of workers.
3. You don't have to lock that; nobody will take anything.
4. The facilities director supports everything I do.
5. My budget is way too big.
6. That bulletin announcement worked so well.
7. The services are far too short.
8. I would love to have the youth sound system after they wear it out.
9. I wish we had VBS every week.
10. I'll do it; I have plenty of free time.
11. We have way too much money and space as it is.
12. The pastor's kid is a role model for the other kids.
13. We don't keep any wet wipes around here.
14. When I took this job I knew I would be doing it for 40 years.
15. You all go to the staff retreat; I'll take care of your kids.
16. Who is Bob the Tomato?
17. I'm love our denomination's quarterly curriculum.
18. I'm doing this for the money.
19. Choir members shouldn't have to work in the nursery.
20. Used is fine; I have way too much new stuff in the children's ministry.
21. Could we give the kids some more powdered-sugar donuts before the service?
22. I get too much vacation time as it is.
23. Let's install white carpet this time.
24. I think it's fun to bring the preschoolers in with the older ones.
25. Teenagers are such a help when they come in groups.
26. Please, not another raise.
by Roger Fields
WHAT WOULD YOU ADD TO THE LIST?
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James Buchanan
Premium Member
Joined: 11 October 2005
Posts: 154
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| Posted: 13 April 2005 at 12:58pm | IP Logged
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"I'm sorry, but at this time there are no openings in Children's Ministry....let me add you to our waiting list and we'll call you when something comes up"
Pastor James, AZ
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henryjz
CP Team
CP = Canadian Pastor
Joined: 16 October 2003
Location: Canada
Posts: 1046
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| Posted: 13 April 2005 at 1:05pm | IP Logged
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We need another children's ministry program. We just don't have enough programs.
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thesecretllama
Premium Member
Joined: 04 May 2005
Posts: 36
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| Posted: 09 May 2005 at 4:57pm | IP Logged
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Someone once said to me after I filled the pulpit for our pastor: "That was great, why don't you preach more often?!"
I replied, "I do, to the children, every Sunday!"
She looked at me funny and walked away.
Evan Abla
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James Buchanan
Premium Member
Joined: 11 October 2005
Posts: 154
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| Posted: 14 June 2005 at 7:58pm | IP Logged
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"I'm sure glad ministry slows down in the summer..."
This was actually said in our staff meetings....we were told to take time off in the summer and refresh for the fall since minsitry slows down.....
Pastor James, AZ
Another of my favorites...
"Sunday is just gravy..."
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Lynn Galindo
Premium Member
Joined: 02 April 2006
Posts: 25
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| Posted: 16 July 2005 at 10:25pm | IP Logged
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Sure, we can keep the kids busy for an extra hour on Wednesday so the choir can practice!
and
Oh, good! There's a business meeting after the service this week!
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crosswalk
Premium Member
Joined: 18 July 2005
Location: United States
Posts: 21
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| Posted: 11 September 2005 at 11:15pm | IP Logged
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"Our start time is just a suggestion, anyway."
"Sure, I can have all our children's church stuff put away, the room cleaned and vacuumed, and all chairs straightened in five minutes so the building can be locked up."
"I'm sorry. My wife and I have already been invited out to lunch this morning. Yes, we sure can do it next week instead."
"I love it when parents come and get their children before we have finished our service. I should be more considerate of the people in the real service."
"I have way too much closet space."
"I promise to make sure your child's clothes do not get dirty."
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Carla Sue
Premium Member
Joined: 20 September 2005
Location: United States
Posts: 7
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| Posted: 30 September 2005 at 12:41pm | IP Logged
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Yes you can drop your 8 children off 45 minutes before the service starts and I'll be happy to watch them!
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Lauri639
Premium Member
Joined: 07 October 2005
Posts: 8
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| Posted: 08 October 2005 at 7:28am | IP Logged
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Yep, all we do is babysit the kids.
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sjewelk11674
Premium Member
Joined: 19 October 2005
Location: United States
Posts: 97
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| Posted: 07 January 2006 at 7:07pm | IP Logged
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And the senior pastor says to the CM, "Now that the Children's Christmas musical is over, you should have lots of time to focus on..." (And the CM replies to herself....."hmm, it's December...time to start planning VBS, and when will the pastor decide if we are doing a Easter service on Saturday, and who is going to teach the preschoolers on Christmas morning since the pastor has decided he doesn't want them inservice, and the list continues.")
Oh...and my most recent favorite, "It's your job to plan the schedule for all the classes for fill in the blank, not the teachers, because that is why we hired you. We are just volunteers you know."
__________________
Building His Kingdom...Reaching His Kids
Stephanie 
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revdebi
Premium Member
Joined: 24 September 2005
Location: United States
Posts: 13
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| Posted: 26 January 2006 at 3:40pm | IP Logged
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I once had a senior pastor tell me that 'children's ministry isn't real ministry.' Can you believe it!
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thesecretllama
Premium Member
Joined: 04 May 2005
Posts: 36
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| Posted: 27 January 2006 at 10:36am | IP Logged
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I've heard that one before. My response is always the same. I say, "Okay, since this is just childcare, you'll pay me for childcare. That's $5.00 per hour, per child. In my church that comes to between $1200.00 to $2000.00 per week! It usually puts the kibosh on the "not real ministry thing."
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naomi
Premium Member
Joined: 29 December 2005
Posts: 3
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| Posted: 09 February 2006 at 12:56pm | IP Logged
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"We do not need any more funds.""
I can always use more funds and donations--I don't know about teh rest of you.
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PastorTMcKeever
CP Team Captain
Kidology Champion
Joined: 30 October 2003
Location: United States
Posts: 2860
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| Posted: 16 March 2006 at 12:03pm | IP Logged
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Please no raise this time because I am getting paid way to much now.
I love your hand me down equipment much more than getting something new.
These are ones you may never hear a childrens pastors personal kids say:
1. Please work one more whole weekend away from home
2. I love staying at church on Wednesday night until late at night and then having me get up early in the morning Thursday for school.
3.I just love the embarrasing stories you tell about me
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jbr
Premium Member
Joined: 14 December 2005
Posts: 243
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| Posted: 16 March 2006 at 12:06pm | IP Logged
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Those are hysterical...especiall what the kids would say...!
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houma12061
Premium Member
Joined: 07 December 2005
Location: United States
Posts: 4
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| Posted: 21 May 2006 at 6:54pm | IP Logged
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No! Its not a problem that you can't be there tomorrow morning to teach Bible Study. Sure, I can get a sub for you at 11:00 at night!
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jcastello
Group Member
Joined: 18 November 2005
Location: United States
Posts: 4
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| Posted: 30 May 2006 at 9:50am | IP Logged
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Since I'm a Children's Pastor, I only work on Sundays. I have LOTS of free time during the week!
NOT!
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tedbrown
Group Member
Joined: 02 June 2006
Posts: 3
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| Posted: 27 June 2006 at 1:32pm | IP Logged
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"Hey, why don't you call me into the hallway five minutes before Kids' Church starts on Sunday morning... we can talk about it then."
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Nomi
Premium Member
Joined: 17 October 2005
Posts: 69
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| Posted: 12 October 2006 at 9:03am | IP Logged
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Oh...you forgot to get the supplies for your Sunday School class...No Problem....I would be delighted to run around the church and find them all for you in the 30 seconds before your class starts... After all -- I really have nothing better to do on a SUNDAY morning.....
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sk8boarder15
Premium Member
Joined: 02 June 2005
Location: United States
Posts: 428
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| Posted: 14 October 2006 at 12:43am | IP Logged
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Sure I'd love to lead another ministry! I still have Saturday night free!
__________________
-Allison
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franktan14123
Premium Member
Frank Tan
Joined: 03 August 2005
Location: United States
Posts: 459
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| Posted: 17 October 2006 at 12:52am | IP Logged
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Sure, I'd love to come handle the children's program at your retreat, and my wife and kids are ecstatic to come help and pay their own way, too.
__________________
Because Jesus wants kids to come to him
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franktan14123
Premium Member
Frank Tan
Joined: 03 August 2005
Location: United States
Posts: 459
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| Posted: 17 October 2006 at 12:54am | IP Logged
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I would love to have an appreciation party in my honor without the kids!
__________________
Because Jesus wants kids to come to him
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Nomi
Premium Member
Joined: 17 October 2005
Posts: 69
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| Posted: 17 October 2006 at 8:35am | IP Logged
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Sure, I'd love to have your child's (or grandchild's) old, broken toys for the nursery. After all, the babies don't really need nice, new toys anyway...they'll just end up breaking them anyhow.
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Mingin
Premium Member
Joined: 02 December 2006
Location: Australia
Posts: 421
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| Posted: 09 January 2007 at 6:31am | IP Logged
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That's fine if you need the DVD player from the start of the service on Sunday so it is ready to show the missions DVD for 30 minutes after the service. No, really I don't mind, we can fill the time in, even without the help of Veggie Tales.
No, it's not a silly grin on my face, it's the only way to stop myself SCREAMING!!
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makenny
Premium Member
Joined: 29 March 2006
Posts: 1
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| Posted: 31 January 2007 at 11:11pm | IP Logged
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Unplugging the over flowing tolits are the highlite of my week!
I came to church today to just worship God, please call my work number if you have questions or comments for me.
I can understand you forgot to come today. I'll have to remember that calling you at 11PM the night before is much too soon for a reminder call.
Riding your snowmachine past the church door is a great way to let me know you don't plan to teach today. The kids got a big kick out of seeing you go by.
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Pastor Margie
Premium Member
Joined: 23 June 2006
Posts: 220
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| Posted: 01 February 2007 at 2:42am | IP Logged
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Thank you everyone. After the last two weeks I REALLY needed to be reminded I'm not in this alone. LOL
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Denise Hanks
Premium Member
Kidology Champion
Joined: 25 November 2005
Location: United States
Posts: 113
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| Posted: 17 March 2007 at 9:18pm | IP Logged
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Sure, have that very important business meeting during the Sunday school hour because the children's teachers aren't at all interested in being a part of important discussions that have to do with the future of the church. We will gladly keep the kids late if we have to.
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Kidology Network Forum : Kidologist's Forum
Topic: You’ll NEVER hear CP say this...
